This is my first blog in about two years. I have recently been inspired by one of my closest friends to revisit this blog. She, herself, had a blog that she had not used for a long time and is now starting to bring it up to date. And I believe it came at the right time, for currently I have been feeling restless and stagnant all at the same time. Restless in that I have this feeling that I can't shake, that I have to do something or there's something I need to do or change. I think it's this feeling that keeps me up at night. I haven't been able to put a finger on it yet and I'm restarting this blog with the hope of finding it. I'm feeling stagnant. And it's a place that I know I never want to be. I mean, there are many thing's that I am thankful for and I know that I am truly blessed. I love my family and friends. We finally have a home and we have things and can afford to eat at least three meals a day. Financially I'm not really secure but I'm thankful that I have my job even though it's not something I want to do forever. My love life is in repair but it's a learning and growing process and it's okay. I can honestly say that God truly does provide and I am thankful for every blessing from the largest to the smallest and simplest. But there is something deep inside of me that's calling and it's up to me to answer that call. I figured I'd start where I ended, with a simple crane. I've been trying to figure out what a I really want out of life and of myself. To find the things that truly make me happy and to find my dreams. To love and fill my life and the world with that love thus answering the question of what is the good of love for the world by doing the action of love which is recreation of that perfect love and in recreating that perfect love into this world we bring down the perfection of heaven to earth.
And so I start with a simple crane, carrying my prayers and heart wishes to heaven that I may bring down a part of that heaven unto earth. It started with wanting to create a treasure map. A treasure map of all the things we want in life and all the things we want to be. But then I stumbled upon the creation box in which you place all the things you wish for in your heart on paper and place it in the box accompanied with a prayer. This is something that I really wanted to share with my closest friends and so I set out trying to find the perfect receptacle that will carry all our dreams and wishes. I saw boxes of every size and color and circled the isles of the store numerous times trying to find the perfect fit. I made my way into the kid's toy section and having seen nothing I turned around to head to the register and something caught my eye. A pack of cardboard treasure boxes. Instead of a treasure map we have a treasure chest which is as good. And now I realize that it's fitting to have found it in the kids/babies section. I'm currently reading and amazing book called "You can heal your life" by Louise L. Hay. And in it she talks of the perfection of babies. How babies don't have to do do anything to be perfect, they just are, and they act as if they know it. Babies know they are the center of the Universe and they are not afraid to ask for what they want. They can freely express their emotions. You know when they are angry but you also know when they are happy for their smiles light up the whole room. Babies are full of love and courage. They love every part of their body. Babies die without love but as we get older we learn to live without it, but babies will not stand for it. And this is, in part, what I wanted to gain form this, for us to be like babes once again. To be pure and perfect and curious about life and to sense and feel everything as if for the first time. And so I personalize each one and share them with my friends. My friends have already started with their wishes. I just started last week for I couldn't figure out the first thing to place in it. And when I finally realized the first thing that I really wanted, I found some colorful herb-scented origami paper to write them on. And then I thought of the prayer that I wanted to say and how I wanted to fly my dreams and wishes up to heaven and then I realized that for every prayer I write I can make a paper crane with it and send it up to heaven on wings that it may land on God's hands and that he may give me the strength to make them come true.
